The Power of Reframing

There was a period early in my marriage when we moved constantly — every year or two — chasing the next assignment, the next step in government service.

At one point, we had just built a home.

VA loan. New baby. A sense of stability that had been rare for us.

And then I earned the opportunity to join the FBI.

There was only one problem:

When we went to sell our house, the market wasn’t in our favor.

After commissions and closing costs, we had to write a check for $20,000 just to walk away.

Not profit. Not break-even.

A loss.

And I remember sitting there asking myself: “Is this worth it?”

The Thought Experiment That Changed Everything

I decided to reframe it.

I asked myself a simple question:

The answer was immediate:

Yes. I would.

Once I saw it that way, the sting disappeared.

Nothing about the circumstances changed.

The money was still gone.

The decision was still hard.

But reframing transformed it from a loss into an investment in something I deeply wanted.

And I never resented it again.

Why Reframing Works

Your emotional experience of a decision is almost never dictated by the facts — it’s dictated by the frame.

• “I lost $20,000” feels like pain.

• “I bought a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for $20,000” feels like purpose.

The facts are identical.

The frame is different.

This is the core of cognitive reframing — and it’s one of the most powerful tools you’ll ever develop.

Business leaders use it.

Elite athletes use it.

Special Operations units use it.

Anyone who operates under pressure uses it.

Because if you can change your framing, you can change your emotional state without changing your circumstances.

Try This in Your Own Life

Ask yourself:

✔ What if this “loss” is actually tuition?
✔ What if this detour is actually God’s redirection?
✔ What if the inconvenience is part of the upgrade you prayed for?
✔ What if the cost is simply the price of calling?

Sometimes reframing is as simple as asking:

“If I looked at this from a different angle…what else might be true?”

The Lesson

You can’t always control the facts.

But you always control the frame.

Reframing isn’t lying to yourself.

It’s refusing to let a shallow narrative rob you of meaning.

Shift the frame, and the burden becomes bearable.

Shift the frame, and the decision becomes obvious.

Shift the frame, and the loss becomes an investment.

Don’t settle. Be relentless.

— Hunter