Control vs. Command

There’s a question I come back to often — especially when things feel heavy, slow, or unnecessarily hard:

Do I want something done… or do I want it done my way?

Those two are not the same.

One leads to leadership. The other leads to micromanagement.

Why Control Feels Good (At First)

Control is tempting.

It feels responsible. It feels efficient. It feels like “If I want it done right, I should just do it myself.”

But control comes with a hidden cost.

When everything has to run through you — every decision, every detail, every execution — your organization, your team, and your impact all hit a ceiling.

You become the bottleneck.

What the Military Taught Me About Command

As an Army officer, one concept shaped how I think about leadership more than almost anything else:

Commander's Intent / Desired End State

Commanders are taught to clearly articulate where we need to go — not dictate every step of how to get there.

The idea is simple:

• Clearly define the objective

• Establish the boundaries (legal, moral, ethical)

• Then let subordinate leaders figure out the best way to execute

That’s why platoon leaders, squad leaders, and team leaders exist.

If you’ve hired capable people, your job isn’t to solve every problem — it’s to set direction and get out of the way.

Control Caps Growth

In business, this distinction shows up fast.

If you constantly need to control how things are done, a few things happen:

• You exhaust yourself

• You frustrate your team

• You quietly limit how big the organization can grow

John Maxwell calls this the Law of the Lid — your leadership capacity becomes the ceiling.

You can only scale as far as your ability to lead others to outcomes without your constant involvement.

Command Looks Like This

My goal — and something I’m always working to improve — is to surround myself with people who are better than meat the jobs I hire them to do.

That requires a shift:

Instead of telling people how to do something, you tell them:

Then you ask:

This is where a framework like Dan Martell’s 1-3-1 becomes powerful:

• 1 clear problem or desired outcome

• 3 possible courses of action

• 1 recommended solution

In the military, we’d call this a back brief or decision brief.

The leader still makes the decision — but the thinking, ownership, and execution live with the team.

The Ego Trap

Let’s be honest.

We all think our ideas are good.

Sometimes we even think they’re the only good ideas.

That’s ego talking.

Command requires humility — the willingness to believe that others might find a better way than you would have.

And often, they do.

The Real Work of Leadership

This approach only works if you do the hard work upfront:

• Recruit high-quality people

• Develop them

• Compensate them well

• Keep them

You don’t empower people you don’t trust. And you don’t trust people you haven’t invested in.

The Takeaway

Micromanagement feels like control — but it creates chaos.

Command feels risky — but it creates clarity, ownership, and scale.

If you feel stuck, overwhelmed, or constantly pulled into the weeds, ask yourself:

Am I trying to control… or am I truly commanding and leading?

Define the end state. Set the boundaries. Trust your people. You might be surprised how much lighter leadership feels.

Don’t settle. Be relentless.

— Hunter